"Now cracks a noble heart. —Good night, sweet prince,
And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!"
Horatio in Shakespeare's Hamlet
Philip's death ended up being mercifully quick.
He went from being in very good spirits on Tuesday night, the evening of the day he moved to Clare Holland House, to feeling exhausted on Wednesday morning because of his chest filling up with fluid. However he did get to say his goodbyes to family that evening.
By Thursday morning he was having great difficulty speaking because the increasing accumulation of fluid in his chest was making him so short of breath, but he managed to communicate that he felt frustrated. When asked if the frustration was about not being able to speak properly, or being trapped in a bed, he responded that he was frustrated that death wasn't coming fast enough.
The nurses asked him again if he'd be willing to take some Medazapam (a benzodiazapene) to reduce his feelings of frustration, as he'd previously refused them because he thought it would zonk him out. This time he agreed that whatever made him feel better was a good idea. He sent Jocelyn off to get a "real coffee" in case that perked him up, while the nurses did the injection of the Medazapam.
He was unconscious 15 minutes later and never regained consciousness. He died on Thursday night at around 11pm.
So we're grateful that he had only two days at the end of feeling that he had no energy left to enjoy life, and he was completely ready to die when it happened.
We will be putting information on this blog about a gathering to celebrate Philip's life, and we'll also be putting up the life stories that he dictated to a number of friends and family members, so please keep checking in.
Sad news, RIP Philip
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